Malfunction Junction

Sometimes the shit just hits the fan! When this happens my best advice is to seek shelter and ride out the storm!

The best way to describe the past 3 days is one HUGE Malfunction. Each part on it's own is nothing huge but collectively it makes for a funny bunch of days. And yes I do mean funny. I am so lucky that Kenny and I have a sense of humor and can laugh about just anything once the situation has past.

I have been really lucky in the past 2.5 years of cycling. Never really a huge malfunction during a ride.  (I did have to be picked up from a ride once because my shifters went wacky but that really wasn't a biggie.) Well Saturday the cycling gods thought that they would play a fun prank on our little group ride. Collectively we started 30 minutes late, had 3 flat tires, a tire that needed replacing, a torn glove and a seat that malfunctioned in the middle of an interval. That is a lot of collective snafus in one go round for a small group of 7 people. Never mind the fact that 4 of those people had no incidents. Oops! I guess it was bound to happen at some point.

But really lets get to the bigger Malfunction of the past three days because honestly, it is was funnier!

As I was coming home yesterday after work Kenny informed me that he was at our local Medstop (after hours doc) because he had cut his thumb. He sounded really concerned but told me just to go on home. Now lets be honest people, I can't just leave my husband at the doc in a box with a cut thumb and not attempt to take care of him. So off I drove to the Medstop.

I walked in to find Kenny with his thumb wrapped in gauze. He promptly said to me "You might not want to stick around, even this is making me nauseous."  Great, just great. My track record with his injuries is not good but I wanted ot be brave and stick it out for him since he wasn't feeling well.

In walks the doc to look at his thumb and surprisingly is has stopped bleeding. Hooray! Well I still didn't want to look directly at his thumb, so I walked around the room a bit reading the CPR posters while she started to examine his thumb. A little poke here, a prod there and all it took was one look at his thumb once it started bleeding and I was done.

I sat down on the nearest stretcher for a bit because I started feeling woozy. Tunnel vision and all I knew this wouldn't be good. So genius me decides I should walk out of the room to my car so that I can rest while they stitch up his thumb. I announce "I am going out to my car" and well that is all I remember. Apparently, I made it to the door that leads into the waiting room and passed out. Kenny stated that it was the hardest he has ever seen anyone fall.

So here I am sprawled out on the tile floor, in a skirt I might add, and I finally come to and see 8 people staring down at me. I closed my eyes in an effort to make them go away but alas, I opened my eyes again and they were all still there. After some time they got me up off the floor and on to a stretcher to monitor me while they went back to tending to Kenny's gushing thumb.

According to Kenny this is what happened:
I made it to the door and my knees started to wobble. Before he could tell someone what was happening, I collapsed. I fell forward into the door frame and took a nice forehead slam into the wood. I apparently also hit my jawbone and collarbone in that first fall. Then I fell backwards landing straight back hitting the back of my head and shoulder blades on the tile ground coming to a rest laying down on the floor. Some how in the process I knocked both knees and also hit a table.

So yeah... I am a bit sore today and ice packs have been a very close friend of mine. I have a bump on my forehead, a bruised collarbone which goes down into my chest, two bruised knees, 2 very sore shoulder blades and a bump on the left side of my face just above my jawbone. Kenny needed the medstop and I am the one that comes out injured. Kenny has forbade me from entering the medstop with him for fear it will result in another passing out ordeal. As he put it, this was my three-peat and in this case a three-peat is not good.
#1- I just about passed out last time he was in the medstop after taking a chain ring into his leg while mountain biking
#2- I got really woozy when he came home with another mountain biking injury and asked me to examine his lip for debris among the carnage.
#3- The thumb ordeal of yesterday.

Really I am trying to be a supportive wife but I really suck at this medical crap!

Here I am emailing my coach telling her I need the morning off.
I am pretty sure I would not have been able to climb out of the pool.

24 hours post passing out: I am definitely sore today. I can feel the soreness creeping down my neck into my chest where I hit hard yesterday. I have no real visible bruising yet but plenty of puffiness. My knees are a bit swollen and my shoulder blades are sore to the touch. The knot on my head it still there and my cheek/jawbone is still sensitive to the touch. I took today completely off from working out and will play tomorrow by ear. However, we are still cackling at the fact that I couldn't let Kenny have all of the attention and when he does his reenactment of my fall we both just about pee our pants! Humor will heal everything!

Yes, I am really that pitiful!

Now if you excuse me I have a date with some very nice ice packs!